Let’s talk RESILIENCE.
Definition: The ability to overcome adversity.
Oh, you know adversity, don’t you?
You’re a survivor of ER/PR+ breast cancer. You’ve been through grueling treatment. Heard the words, “It is cancer.” Done the hardest thing you never thought you could do.
Now, you’re ready to move forward. And yet, you can’t quite seem to find your equilibrium.
What is going on? What’s wrong with you?
THIS IS NEW TERRITORY
Nothing. Nothing is wrong with you.
You’ve lived for so long now with an unrelenting feeling of anxiety and uncertainty. Felt unsettled about the future. Felt the ground shift beneath you 24/7.
I’m right there with you. We surfed that wave every day during our treatment. Some of us managed to successfully ride it. Some of us crashed.
It’s from that perspective I’m sharing my experience of working hard to find my footing after my own treatment ended.
The author Brene Brown talks about the five protective factors of resilient people. (1)
I love this one: They hold the belief that they can do something that will help them manage their feelings and cope.
The length of time you’ve been out of treatment will influence your emotions.
It took me a very long time to not be sabotaged by strong, dark emotions that came out of nowhere.
You’re likely experiencing something similar right now.
Know this. What you’re feeling is neither right or wrong. It just is. Those strong emotions will pass through you.
On their own.
But maybe you’re trying to speed them along. Working hard to NUMB, SOOTHE, BUFFER, AVOID or COPE; especially those painful, uncomfortable emotions.
What no one tells you, though, is that it’s impossible to selectively numb emotions.
When you numb the negative, you numb the positive. As Brene says, “When you numb the DARK, you numb the LIGHT.”
WHAT’S YOUR COPING METHOD?
Are you doing emotional and/or stress eating? Drinking alcohol in an amount or at a frequency that startles you?
I’m not surprised.
The way we do ONE THING is the way we do EVERYTHING.
If you stress eat or drink alcohol to cope during “normal” times, coming out on the other side of your breast cancer experience won’t change that.
In fact, it may accelerate those behaviors.
But I promise you this. The way you feel right now?
It’s TEMPORARY.
If you can see ahead to the future and recognize that this is not your eternity, you have a greater likelihood of believing you can cope and get through.
Can you intentionally look for joy? Joy feels good; no one tries to eat or drink away joy.
Maybe your cancer experience isn’t yet revealing a silver lining. Perhaps it never will.
For me, you won’t hear me say my cancer was a gift. Ever. That’s not my belief.
But there are some things that fall under the silver lining heading:
- Expanding my knowledge and skills
- The opportunity to make a difference
- Meeting amazing women from around the globe
- Creating a legacy that impacts people’s lives for the better
- Blending my professional expertise with my personal experience to help others heal and thrive
HONOR YOUR NEEDS
What are YOUR protective factors? What helps you feel and be resilient?
As with feelings and emotions, there’s no right or wrong. Given the circumstances, what you need now may be different from previous times.
Maybe you need to:
- Sleep or rest more
- Be less productive
- Manage your energy more closely
- Protect your MENTAL and EMOTIONAL self
Do what you need to do.
Please don’t try to fashion your resilience strategy after anyone or anything that doesn’t feel right. There’s no blueprint for getting back on your feet after treatment, but there are strategies that help.
I’m here for you, and will continue to support you as you move forward. Tell me in the comments below, how can I best help you? What’s working for you to support your beautiful, resilient self?
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Thanks for reading my blog post!
Most survivors of hormone-positive breast cancer get anxious when they think about what to eat after finishing treatment, so I’ve created the Peaceful Plate program to help survivors eat with peace, not panic.
When you eat with peace, you feel free to enjoy your food again.
Ready to eat with peace?
CLICK HERE and grab your FREE copy of The Five Foods Survivors Should Eat
CLICK THIS LINK and watch my 2-minute Peaceful Plate program video!
Follow me on Instagram @hormone.breastcancer.dietitian
This information is for educational purposes only and is not intended as medical advice. Please consult your dietitian or doctor for guidance specific to your needs.
SOURCE
- The Gifts of Imperfection. Let Go of Who You Think You’re Supposed to Be and Embrace Who You Are. Author: Brene Brown, PhD, LMSW
