March 2018 is coming to a close, and with that, so is my collection of posts on the psychology of food, eating, emotion and breast cancer.
I’ve really enjoyed sharing this information with you!
My hope is that you’ve gained new insights, perspective or appreciation for the complicated relationship some women (and men) have with food, which can become even more so following a breast cancer diagnosis.
If you’re the one struggling, please know this: there’s help available (reach out to me if you’re not sure where to find what you need). You aren’t destined to stay in the same unhealthy place, and it’s okay to give yourself grace and compassion as you find your way toward recovery.
With that, let’s dive into the final three scenarios.
I Need Every, Single Ounce of Control I Can Get
Oh, how I love even the possibility that we could be in complete control of EVERYTHING.
I myself, freely admit to being something of a control freak.
Ok, I lied.
I 100% am a control freak.
I’m a firstborn (that birth order position is a foolproof recipe for control), I was raised in a household that was all about order, predictability and stability, and learned early on that personal responsibility for actions yields predictable results.
So when engaging in responsible actions to take care of myself; eating well, exercising, giving up smoking (ages and ages ago – it was a stupid, regrettable, coming-of-age experience), and generally doing what I (professionally) knew could work to stave off disease, all sort of fell through? There was a bit of a disconnect. Control? Where’s my control?
A strange thing happens once you’ve faced a breast cancer diagnosis; you begin to realize that you’re not in control of a damn thing, and the need (urge?) for control begins to loosen, ever so slightly. But only after you find yourself on the other side of the diagnosis and treatment.
Let’s face it. Feeling in control makes us feel SAFE. And we can never underestimate how important feeling safe is for human beings of all ages. Maslow wasn’t kidding around when he placed SAFETY firmly in the fourth position of his 5-tiered “Hierarchy of Needs” theory.
Controlling food to trigger that feeling of safety is one of the oldest tricks on the planet, and it can look like any or all of these:
- how much you eat
- when you eat
- where you eat
- whether you even eat or not
- the type of servingware you eat from
- the people you eat with
- time of day/night you eat
Stress Is Debilitating, Food Soothes
Let me be very clear.
You don’t have to have an eating disorder to struggle with stress eating. Insulating your feelings with food so that you don’t FEEL them, or shifting attention AWAY from feelings by focusing on the food instead are common (unhealthy) coping mechanisms.
In 2015, the American Psychological Association reported that about two in five adults (39 percent) report overeating or eating unhealthy foods due to stress, compared to 33 percent in 2014. (1)
In the breast cancer community, it’s tough to know how often a diagnosis triggers, hides or elevates an eating disorder or disordered eating behavior; very few studies have been done on the topic.
What we do know is that stress eating differs from non-stress eating in a number of ways. If you’re unsure whether you’re riding the stress-eating train or not, use the following to assess your own eating habits:
- Stress eating comes at you suddenly, often as an “urge” to eat versus a feeling of hunger. True hunger comes on gradually as your last meal is digested, metabolized, and used for fuel, when lowered blood sugar levels and other physiological indicators remind you it’s time to eat.
- Stress eating sends you in search of a particular food to eat, and it’s rarely a big pile of fruits and veggies. True hunger sends you searching for anything, even a piece of fruit will do, to satisfy your appetite and alleviate the sensation of hunger.
- Stress eating drives you to eat without thinking, as in, you look down at an empty ice cream carton, but don’t remember finishing it? Like that.
- Stress eating sends you careening from one (generally unhealthy) food to the next, eating large quantities of each without reaching that feeling of SATISFACTION.
- Stress eating weighs on your mind with feelings of guilt, shame, disgust or regret.
Food Choices MUST Be Perfect
There are situations where perfection is overrated.
Not brain surgery. Or rocket science. Nor building construction.
But eating? Diet choice? Particular foods? Bingo.
Repeat after me: “THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS PERFECT EATING, THE PERFECT FOOD or THE PERFECT DIET.”
Let’s talk about what it means to constantly seek perfection on your plate.
“Righteous eating” has become a thing. Such a thing, in fact, that food has been dubbed “America’s New Religion.” If you’re one to evangelize (or monopolize the conversation) about “clean eating”, intermittent fasting, juicing and detoxing as a way to enlighten the folks around you, may I gently suggest that you stop.
I’ve been helping people make diet changes, improvements and overhauls for years, and I can assure you that no one likes to feel judged for their dietary choices, even (especially!) if their diet could do with a bit of shoring up.
Dietary changes tend to work best (and “stick” long-term) when done incrementally vs. over-zealously, and reside solidly in the REALISTIC category. But if you’ve been recently diagnosed, it’s easy to jump on the overzealous nutrition bandwagon – it feels good to be doing SOMETHING proactive. You may even be feeling the positive effects of your changes and want to share what you’ve learned with EVERYONE.
Now is the time when it makes perfect (and in this case I do mean PERFECT) sense to examine and potentially uplevel or overhaul your nutrition and eating habits. There’s solid research in support of good nutrition for improving breast cancer treatment outcomes, energy and overall health. But like anything, it’s possible to take a good thing too far, and the approach you’ve taken may not be best for others, especially if you’ve become a little too stringent with your eating.
Orthorexia is a term coined in 1998 that means an obsession with healthful or “proper” eating. (2) If there’s any situation where an obsession of this sort could take hold, a breast cancer diagnosis would be it.
While we know a lot about how nutrition can help breast cancer patients, there’s also a lot that we DON’T know (yet). One consistent point in the research is that no one perfect food or food combo prevents, reduces risk, or “cures” breast cancer. The opposite is also true; no one food CAUSES breast cancer.
Health-supportive food choices made with intention is wise, eating with intention to strong-arm your breast cancer into submission, and falling apart when you can’t get your hands on the foods you want/need, isn’t.
Eating for health while living in the real world can feel like walking a tightrope – one wrong misstep and everything blows up in your face. Pay attention to your eating and (food) shopping habits, thoughts and patterns over the next few days. Should you see yourself in any of the examples below, I encourage you to be honest about where your good intentions have landed you. If you need help sorting it out, don’t hesitate to get in touch.
A few examples of what to watch out for:
- Raw food fanaticism.
- Following rigid food rules.
- Eating only “clean” foods, meals, snacks.
- Elimination of all sugar, caffeine, carbs, dairy.
- Eating organic everything; exclusively.
- Juicing takes precedence over eating.
- Gluten-free when not medically/physiologically necessary.
Never miss a post – PLUS – get exclusive info and updates I share only in my newsletter!